I really am painting....

I am just not blogging about it. I guess I need to post pictures. This 3rd painting I have a strong emotional attachment to the subject and it isn't coming together yet, so I have not posted. I also recall I have not posted what John said on my critique. (OR, more likely I don't read my own blog!) I have been working on fixing some of what he suggested.

I discovered green dries slower than red.

I have been working on finishing the series RED. I should get up and photograph them too. I will later. (I need to eat a snack and do the website)

Painting four is now painting five and will come about when it is ready. But I like the idea a lot and interestingly enough God showed me exactly what He had in mind. I just need to capture it with the camera first. That may take some time and patience, but will be worth waiting for.

So I have a new number four. It is called Faith walk. It is a portrait of me after I had made a decision about a relationship, had it go bad and then turn around. It is just me smiling at the future. (Is that cryptic enough or I am in trouble?)

My art in relationship to photography

Somehow along the way art that was photography based as acquired in classes at UTD crossed a line from reference photos to, man this is addictive and I take 1000’s of pictures and I don’t know enough and hmm… I need a new lens.

I took drawing concepts and we started off with a “lines in landscape” assignment. That is all it took. Since I am a graphic designer and work often with photos, to make art from photos seems like breathing. Next came mixed media, again my files are full of reference work. Silkscreen, yikes! Even oil painting and my obsession with the self portrait feeds this growing need to capture something more than… a face but also that emotion and personality of the person.

I started with self portraits to help me document like a diary my emotions in relation to catastrophic events surrounding the dissolution of a 25 year marriage. I can’t explain it except I was so out of touch with my emotions I had to see them through the camera. Being a playful person this lead to many other capturings of what I call my multiple personalities. I can say that these ladies helped me find myself and grow beyond the shadow of a person I was… made me laugh too.

Once I become comfortable with photographing myself and sometimes turning it into art I began to take other people’s picture with the same goal, to somehow capture more of them, as much of them as I can. Some have become art, some are waiting to become art.

As I prepare to take mixed media again I am primed to set this process in motion and see what happens next.

Deep Down in my Soul the Moon is Full

This is a blog cross over. I started this thread on the blog Transitions, which had the title Only Hope Can Know. It was originally All That is Left is the Color Red. I switched back to that title after thinking about it all week.

I am painting the four self portraits from the banner. They are like 36 x 24 ish, I don’t want to get up and measure them, substantial in size will suffice. There is another poem like thing attached to them.

The paintings are a cross over into mixed media and a break though, so my painting teacher John Pomara says. (he is somewhat famous in Dallas, which is cool, nice guy, the DMA owns one of his paintings.) They will be a break through if… I finish them and if... I keep the direction I was going that John picked up on. I didn't see it until he pointed it out. Used the world painterly, one of my favorite art words!

The plan:

finish them before I actually start mixed media in August like I told Greg I would.
The words I am putting on the paintings are:

Deep down

In my soul

The moon

Is full

One line per painting.
The meaning of this haiku-ish poem is simple;
It means I am content even when things around might not add up to contentment. I am soul satisfied.

Just the way a full moon makes me feel, any moon.

I am a sky watcher.

They are so very unfinished I don’t want to post them.

I will post the Photoshop art.

The portraits were taken August 2007. That is when I wrote the two poems. The paintings were started then too.

I will get back to the Nasher

I won first place in the Park Cities Presbyterian Church Art Festival. I have been writing a lot about being an artist. I have been telling people I am an artist. I know that probably seems vain, or unnecessarily. But I need to. Because I am becoming that, and I don't feel like I am there. But I did Saturday. And I feel an obligation to continue this journey, because it seems like an open door.

I want to do art ministry, this will help me.

So many things are happening to me, some apparent, all in process but much in the background for now. There are things I want to tell everyone about, but not yet. I am trying to adjust to my new life, it is good. Very good.

I just want to say, I am very, grateful to Jesus who never left my side and reminded me that He called me. Now that there is some evidence of that, people have to admit it. I tell you He has been at work. He was there when I could only roll up in a ball and cry in bed. He did not leave me there. He is faithful and good. My next art piece is about being raised up from depression into joy and fullfillment. It is about worship.

What I saw after my name was called in a church full of people was me in the fetal postition having been stricken over and over and knowing that Jesus brought me to that place that night. Now that is art.

It wasn't enough that I won the award, my art was used in worship at my church and at Park Cities. I think He just wanted to drive home the point. I was honored. Deeply honored and I want to say thank you Lord.